Brianna: I have to say that I am not a fan of May/December romances. I prefer the hero and heroine to be at around the same time in their life as the other.
J9: I totally agree! Lately MM romance has been rife with thirty-five year old leads matched with nineteen and twenty year olds. Frankly, it makes me nuts because the leads are in different points in life, in my opinion.
Brianna: I DNF’d a book earlier this year, The Cop and the Girl From the Coffee Shop, with characters in those age groups! The heroine was 19 and the hero was in his ‘mid-thirties’. That’s a big difference in age and all I could think about was the huge age gap. If that’s constantly on my mind, it makes it difficult to concentrate on the actual story.
J9: Yes, then any conflict or tension I can easily write off as being there because of the leads being different maturity levels. Plus, I think part of character development is the character’s history in life and honestly, not many nineteen year olds have that much life experience to pull from!
Brianna: I also think that people in different decades in their life will handle conflicts differently as well. The older character will, like you mentioned, have more life experience (or history) than the younger character.
J9: Yes, exactly! I also need to mention the sexual component between May/December leads. In MM romance often the teenager is described as “boy” or “kid” and frankly, in a sexual context that makes me squeamish. I don’t mind virgin leads in romance but not because the lead is immature and unprepared to have a mature, sexual relationship.
Brianna: The words “boy” and “kid” do not belong in a romance novel. It’s pedophilia. I would DNF a book if that were the case.
J9: I’ve done that recently when I just couldn’t stomach it. I even discussed this concern with one of the MM publishers and she said that the May/December trope is one of the most popular in the MM genre. But not for me!
Brianna: Really? That’s interesting. I did read one very short story recently, Sarah’s Chase, where the guy was in his late twenties and the woman was in her forties. It was difficult for me to get past the age difference. Silly, I know. But it’s one of those things I notice, and focus on, when reading.
Tell us: How do you feel about May/December relationships? Is this a trope you love to read or one you avoid?
I've never been a fan of the big age gaps. It's not only a language barrier to developing a relationship, it's also a generational gap. How can you be attracted to someone who has yet to experience all the world has to offer? I mean, if a man is 20 years older than me, that's a full generation of experience and life choices he has experienced that I can't understand. We are literally at two points in our life; what would we have in common?
ReplyDeleteAdmittedly there would be a few common factors (I'm thinking sex of course ;/) but what would we do/talk about after it was over?
In some books the author has tried to bridge this gap with one of them experiencing a horrific past that has "aged" them, bringing them to the same level as the older character. Diana Palmer is one author that comes to mind in this. It seems as all her characters are younger women wanting older men with "experience".
It never seems to work out well for me in romances, I always wonder what in the world possessed the characters to hook up.
I totally forgot about that with Diana Palmer but you're 100% right, she always did that! Excellent point & example
DeleteOK, all this time I took May December romance literally, like it was a romance that lasted... yeah. I feel so dumb now. Kind of a misnomer though, right?
ReplyDeleteThat's what I thought it meant when I first heard the term as well.
DeleteFirstly, I've never heard the term May/December romance. Where does that stem from? Strange term to me. Secondly, using the term boy or kid in a romance novel? That's plain gross.
ReplyDeleteI'm interested to hear how the term was coined as well.
DeleteI can get passed the May/December thing in historicals pretty easily but I have to say that it is a theme that I have barely run across. If it happened in a contemporary I'd probably struggle more with it and I know that I would be uncomfortable if it's a young person with an older partner. When one partner say is in their 30's and the other is in their 50's then I tend to not get too hung up on it.
ReplyDeleteAt those younger stages in life, you're really just figuring out who you are as a person.
I'm not a fan of May/December relationships either. Diana Palmer wrote tons of them. Often the women is 19 or 20, and the man is in his 30s. It's just hard to really care about the guy when it feels like his is preying on the younger, innocent girl. Also, it makes me like the hero less, because I feel like why can't he fall in love with a woman closer to his age. It's fine if she is a little younger, but a girl who's barely out of high school. I don't know - it's just not a favorite.
ReplyDeleteYep, I admit to thinking the same thing about the hero: he wants a young heroine because she's (arguably) easier to mold.
DeleteHmmm...thinking..don't really have a formed opinion on this except that most readers seem perfectly fine with the idea of century old vampires or immortals with mid-twenty year old women so it seems a bit harsh to not accept a 10-20 year age gap in human on human romances...provided of course its legal.
ReplyDeleteAlso "boy" is term used in many kink circles and has nothing to do with pedophilia. It can be very much a top's term for a bottom. One of my favourite m/m stories is The Angel by Tiffany Reisz, has a huge age gap...18 and 35 I think, and the age had so little to do with it....
So I guess by writing my comments I am saying I am ok with age gap relationships...its more important how the characters connect and feel about each other. If a great love comes along grab it.
There are some very good ones out there. Like Suzanne Brockmann's Max and Gina. He's got about 20 years on her, and it takes 3 or 4 books to get them together, as a sub-plot to other people's romances, but it's extremely well done. Another one is Linnea Sinclair's Hope's Folly. Philip is around 45, Rya 28 or so, and it totally works. Of course it depends on the author. Not everyone can pull it off, but the two of them certainly managed.
ReplyDelete